I'm going to attempt to put aside my orneriness for a moment, because yesterday I broke my little toe, and holy f**k it hurts. But I don't want to talk about my stupidity, I'd rather focus on the joy and celebration that today is.
As of today I have been a mom, however sufficient and subpar, for a whole four years. Technicnally not until 9:47pm tonight. But I figure if you count in the 20+ hours of labor in there, somehow I don't think many will cast an evil eye on me for rounding up to say I've been a mom for a solid four years, right?
Please send all aggreviances to my inbox at thesufficientmom@gmail.com. Please and thank you.
(All annoyed emails will be responded with a gif of a laughing Quinten Tarentino giving the thumbs up. Only because it's my favorite gif right now for anyone that annoys me.)
Anyway.
I can look back over the past four years and see how much has changed.
See, kids? They're cute and stuff, sure. But they're also these life-sucking vultures that take all the fun out of everything you used to believe was fun. Like, fun vampires. Because, the damn things come in, they take over your home and your social life and your television, they change everything that was and make it what IS. But that's not the part that is annoying, really. Because, c'mon right? We all see that coming from the positive pregnancy test.
No, what's annoying is that they somehow manage to do it and YOU LIKE IT.
Yeah, there. I said it. My life is so different and haywire and stressful and crazy. Oh is it ever. :/ oh damn those little three foot tall monsters I birthed. They changed everything and still manage to make me like it. I get no sleep, my anxiety is through the roof, the marriage I once had is not the marriage I now have, I showered more in 2009 than I have in the last four years together, and Somehow I can be more aggravated, more irritated, and more pissed off than I think I ever have been- and BOOM.
ALL these little suckers have to do is smile, give me a kiss and wrap those pudgy little kid arms around my neck and suddenly I remember how nothing else actually matters.
But that's because nothing else DOES.
In the same sense I can say that I have cried more and doubted more, hurt more, slept less, and felt so lost in a way I never imagined possible in the last four years: I also can say without a doubtful bone in my body (even the broken one in my right foot) that I have had more joys, cherished days, happy tears, and unforgettable moments in the last four years than my prior 27 years.
Hands down, heart to God, all that corny stuff.
So that's something. Right?
And in this moment, as I somewhat crudely explain my undying love for my children, I must also commentate my love for the man who made our little crazy, mind-blowing, frustrating monkeys possible. It's his birthday too.
Four years ago at this moment, that man that married THIS hot mess, in all his imperfections, followed this girl in all her imperfections, as she wandered the hospital hallways on HIS BIRTHDAY and paused every 3-10 minutes to lean against a tacky taupe wall and breath through contractions. And we did that for hours, waiting for our first little human (in all his imperfections ha ha) to make his entrance at 9:47pm. It wasn't the best way to spend your twenty ninth birthday, but he never told me otherwise and if he had complained I would have directed him to my widening cervix and left it at that as an argument won.
So- Happy Birthday, and all my deepest love to two of the three most important men in my life. May we continue to survive and weather the storm for another four, ten, twenty or heck, unimaginable years of our family. I love you, I adore you, you are my reason for living. (Plus that little guy that follows us around. I like him too.)
I've been a mom for four years today.
And I don't know where my kids and Mr G begin or I end, it's just. Us.
That might be sickeningly sappy, but, oh well. I'll be rude and mean tomorrow or next week. ;)
Happy Birthday my loves. I couldn't do this without either of you.
Xo
SM
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