Apparently all the cool girls are doing it.
Before you ask how this not-cool girl knew about it, I will skip right over that sentiment, ignore you and continue....*ahem*
Me? I have hesitated. Although, admittedly, I've been 'tagged' for weeks now. By multiple people, actually. I keep seeing them, and 'liking' them, but I havent even begun searching for my own five pictures. Why? do you ask?
(because I'm so sure you did, in your head, ask...)
Well. Allow me to most graciously and elaborately explain.
You see...when I think..."hmmm.....pictures of me where I feel pretty...." I can only think of, sadly, pictures where I felt sexy. Desirable. Alluring. Thin.
Those pictures of me, in my oh-so-humble opinion, (and my oh-so-humble factoids) are all quite old. Back when I was younger, skinnier, more photogenic, more apt with my photography (a hobby of mine for those who don't know me well) and pre-kid. Im talking Circa 1999 to...oh, say 2009 or so.
Yeah. Old.
Nah. See, the bigger problem is- When I think of "pretty", I don't think of Now-me. I think of Then-me. Not this me.
I'm also sure whatever brilliant ( uh huh) individual devised this genius plan of having all of Facebook display their "pretty" feeling pictures by the cinco- well, they obviously aren't as cynical or as stupendously thought provoked as I am. (that wasn't intended as an insult, but I shall leave it as it is.)
I digress to this post.
I realized something.
I realized how silly I was being.
I realized that....."pretty" can be existential and inside, something more than sex, desire, weight or allure to anyone else. It surpasses fair skin tones and perfect hair and awesome teeth. It's not that! It is SO not about those things.
And that, Damn you Facebook! I almost forgot the meaning of beauty while I was busy trying to think of how to post "pretty".
Yup. Now, I'm sitting here in my yoga pants and my pony tail at 2am in the ONLY silence this mama ever seems to get, thinking about how dead-ass tired she will be tomorrow (today?) and, HA! I will probably look even LESS pretty than usual in my zombie-mommy sleep-deprived, sullen must-have-coffee-stop-whining-and-dont-poop-in-that-diaper-yet-please state......and it's kind of almost funny.
No.
No, I can feel "pretty" being me. Even THIS me. Or THAT me. Most of all, I'm more than pretty. I'm real.
So, to extend even deeper into this odd realm of what I am going to call "The new Pretty", I will show you BOTH sides.
Five pictures of me when I felt young and desirable and "pretty" via society's standards.
And...
Five pictures of me, the real me, being me, now. As who I am. However 'undesireable' and normal that I am.
The fact is simple.
Society wants us to think that certain things are pathways to perfection. Nice skin, or small waists and sparkling eyes and flowing hair. But in a very blatant way- I can tell you that superficial "pretty" isn't real, or wonderful. Real pretty is...well...true. It's who we are. You can't 'hide' true beauty. True beauty is love, and affection, and happiness. Great moments and gut-wrenching laughter with people you feel closest to.
Furthermore. I'm still THAT me. I'm still the same person with the same eyes and the same brain. Even if I don't FEEL that pretty anymore, well, that doesn't change who I am.
Being "pretty" and beautiful isn't JUST about long luscious eyelashes and sex appeal. Because even though, Hey! Sure. We all want that, right? (what woman DOESN'T want to be craved or lusted after, and don't lie, I already know its true.)
More than that. More than lust. More than being admired. We want love. And, love is a far more
beautiful thing to be photographed than pretty.
So, why didn't anyone devise a crazy ass, everybody-tag-everybody-we-know fad for us to share five pictures of us feeling loved??
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